Monday, November 29, 2010

The Beginning of the End

I'm experiencing the last few minutes of possibly my last Thanksgiving Break ever. It went by so quickly, but it seems as if I never really left to go to college at all. It's fascinating how my memories blur together the way they do, in a way that makes my last year and a half at Mizzou seem like a dream. I suppose it feels that way because I haven't done very many things that would create strong memories since I've been going to Mizzou. I keep to myself, just go to classes, numb myself as much as possible with mindless internet browsing. I find myself guilty of over-generalizing about my life at Mizzou in an effort to convince people that I'm lonely, or that it's otherwise unpleasant in some other way. Meh meh meh.

Anyway. I just have a few more weeks of school in this semester. Then I'm home again. Then I have one more real semester, plus some summer courses. I'll be graduating in the summer. I'm okay with graduating in the summer. My high school graduation didn't exactly leave me with high expectations for the sequel. And I've been to at least a couple college graduations. I really don't feel it's a memory that I will treasure in any way. Considering how disconnected I feel from most of the students at my school, and how much I like to talk about disconnected I feel, I predict that I would feel inappropriate sitting through a ceremony exploding with pride for the University of Missouri. I've offended quite a few people at school while explaining my dissatisfaction with the institution. Really though, there are much worse schools, and I should be content about the whole thing. It sucks that I have so much less social interaction, that I have trouble relating to people...and all that. I need to learn how to cope with all these little things now, while I still have fairly cozy financial support from my parents and my youth. God, no one is going to want to read my blog if I just dribble on like this in every entry. Haha. I guess I'm okay with that. For now anyway.

I'm trying to figure out how to get a little website for myself up and running. I'm a total amateur when it comes to website design. I've been trying to figure out a domain name, who I want to buy it from, who I want to host the site. Also important: what the hell am I going to do with it? I guess I could put a blog on it. Blogs seem like a popular reason for getting personal websites. Though I feel like this would make it even less likely that someone might "stumble" upon my blog. At least with blogger, someone could theoretically click that button at the top of the page and be taken to my blog. Half the time when I do that, the blog isn't even in English. ha. I suppose also I could upload pictures onto my website. That would be fun, eh? And an "about me" section. And a Resume. Ha. Resume. That's a joke, by the way. I think part of the reason I want to make a website is so that I can include it in my contact information, you know, to draw attention from my lack-luster resume, if you can even call it a resume: a handful of random part-time jobs, none of which lasted longer than a few months. I figure I'd write this new blog with a pen name, to make it extra fancy. Already have the pen name picked out. But I'm not telling you. You might already know it. But if you don't know it, I don't want you to know because I don't want people I know to read this new blog. I'M GOING TO BE BRUTALLY HONEST ABOUT EVERY. THING. I might step on some toes. Eh. Probably a case of "it sounded better in my head." This pen name is the same name that I will legally assume should I somehow experience a dramatic increase in wealth. I've got it all planned out.

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